


A Reaction to the End of LBD

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [41]
Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bestiality, Characters React to Fandom, Crack, Drabble, Failwolf, Humor, Interspecies Hate Speech, Light Bondage, M/M, Portmanteaus, Roleplay, This No Fit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 20:44:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is just a fan of modernizations of classic victorian novels. Who isn't?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reaction to the End of LBD

**Sam:**  Oh my God! Lizzie Bennet Diaries is over! What am I going to do with my life now?!?

 **Dean:**  If you’re gonna get so worked up, I’m gonna take away your YouTube-watching privileges.

 **Sam:**  You don’t understand! It was so beautiful! True to the original while still fresh and modern….

 **Dean:**  Yeah. But wasn’t the original a chick flick?

 **Sam:**  Gah! 

 **Dean:**  Well, now that it’s over, will you watch that throwing star tutorial series with me? It’s like, better than Batman.

 **Sam:**  No, Dean! I can’t just move on! I mean, there is still so much to think about. Like, they never really resolved the Wickham storyline. I wonder what happened to him.

 **Dean:**  He and Darcy were like brothers, right? And then he made some bad choices and betrayed the family? Darcy probably found him, had some angry make up sex with him, and everything was better.

 **Sam:**  Just because that worked for us doesn’t mean it works for everyone.

 **Dean:**  I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t they…?

 **Sam:**  Darcy is in love with someone else?

 **Dean:**  So? I’m in love with Cas. And Lizzie doesn’t seem like she would be averse to a threesome. They could do that thing we did that time Gabriel….

 **Sam:**  That sentence cannot end well. Anyway, neither of them is even gay.

 **Dean:**  Really? Have you seen Wickham’s artful stubble? And his abs? No straight man has abs like that.

 **Sam:**  Yeah, you made that up.

 **Dean:**  Nuh uh! Have you seen my abs? Or yours? Case closed!

 **Cas:**  *appearing* Yeah, but have you seen Scott McCall shirtless? And I weep at the thought of him being even slightly bi.

 **Isaac:**  Dammit.

 **Dean:**  Cas, what have I told you about appearing on my lap?

 **Cas:**  I need to distribute my weight. I am heavier than I look, and it crushes your junk.

 **Dean:**  Right. And whenever possible, lose the clothes beforehand.  Otherwise the trench coat gets caught. And there is chafing.

 **Cas:**  I’m sorry.  I just heard you talking about Dickham and—

 **Sam:**  That’s the ship name?

 **Cas:**  Yeah. I know it’s no Sterek, but then nothing can be….

 **Stiles:**  You know that’s right!

 **Derek:**  Stiles! What are you doing? Get back here!

 **Stiles:**  Whatever. It wasn’t gonna fit anyway.

 **Derek:**  You don’t know that until you try it!

 **Stiles:**  It’s like eight inches around!

 **Derek:**  You just have to breathe out! Here, let me just—

 **Stiles:**  IT! NO! FIT!

 **Cas:**  Oooh! Nice corset! Love the feathers! Do you need help tightening it?

 **Stiles:**  No! Stop! It doesn’t fit! Oh my God! Get it off me!

 **Cas:**  Aw, I think it’s pretty.

 **Stiles:**  Yeah. No.  We were doing Camydia, and Derek was convinced Lydia Bennet had to wear this hideous, tiny corset, and—

 **Dean:**  Chlamydia?

 **Derek:**  *grumpily* It’s not chla—it’s Mary and Lydia.. *more grumpily* And the cat.

 **Stiles:**  He refuses to call it Kitty. He thinks it makes him less of a man. Honey, saying ‘Camydia’ all the time is pretty emasculating as well….

 **Derek:**  *even more grumpily* I still don’t know why we need to have the cat.

 **Stiles:**  For authenticity! Duh!

 **Derek:**  Nothing about cats is authentic. The lying, sneaky little…

 **Stiles:**  Geez. What do you have against cats?

 **Derek:**  They are all sneaky. And they have twitchy tails! And annoying claws! And, and, they eat fish! Do you know how terrible that smells? And anyway, I’m a wolf! I’m allowed to hate cats! If we are gonna do bestiality it’s sure as hell not gonna be with a mangy feline. It’s gonna be with a member of CANIS FUCKING LUPUS!

 **Stiles:**  Geez, I didn’t mean to—

 **Derek:**  THEY HAVE BARBS, STILES! WHAT KIND OF SICK FREAK OF A SPECIES HAS BARBS?!

 **Cas:**  I agree with you. And the females were not even consulted.

 **Stiles:**  I’m sorry, I—

 **Derek:**  BARBS. ON. THEIR. PENISES. WHO. EVEN.

 **Stiles:**  DEREK!

 **Derek:**  I’m sorry. I just—

…

 **Stiles:**  You just what?

*Derek whimpers*

 **Stiles:**  Ah. Well, at least now we know your word limit.

*Derek looks angry*

 **Stiles:**  Aw, honey. Why don’t we go find Allison and do some Ditzy instead?

*Derek looks hopeful*

 **Stiles:**  And you can wear that bowtie you secretly love. And I won’t wear the fro. ‘Cause authenticity is not that important. And it looks really stupid. In fact, I won’t wear anything but that….

*Derek whimpers for a completely different reason*

 **Stiles:**  That’s right, big boy. Now let’s get out of here.

*they leave*

 **Cas:**  Oooh! This has gotten me in the mood for role play! Can I be Mr. Collins?

 **Sam and Dean:**   NO!

 **Sam:**  Ha! I knew you watched it!

 **Dean:**  Please. That’s like Scott being gay. I mean, gross!

 **Isaac:**  Damn it!

 **Cas:**  Oh! I don’t mean that creepy guy on LBD! I mean the awesome one with the hair! And the Twitter!

 **Sam:**  You wanna do RPF? Sounds good to me.

 **Dean:**  Oooh, I get to be Jared! He’s all cute and flaily!

 **Sam:**  …?

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


End file.
